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There hasn’t been enough information shared on this topic. It is because we don’t understand that the trauma, if unhealed, gets inadvertently passed down to the next generation. And, as a mother, I am appalled when I realized what I had done, even unknowingly. Yes, children receive the indirect impact of our trauma and, in their own way, are recipients of “secondary trauma”. It impacts their being as well as their lives because they must learn defensive survival skills to live with this parent or these parents. They they carry these skills throughout life. The terrible part about this is that our suffering gets passed down to those we love the most! And, we don’t even know it. In my work as a healer and psychotherapist, I didn’t even realize it for a long time, even as I was undergoing my healing. And, through no fault of my own, it was that the field of psychology hadn’t as yet discovered the severe effects of trauma even on those directly traumatized! Let me be clear then that this is NOT what survivors do on purpose, or even that they know that they do.  I, as a trauma survivor, didn’t realize it myself until my adult children and I started living and working together 14 years ago. Read the rest of this entry »

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