You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Trauma’ tag.

MAKINGPEACEWITHSUICIDE_FrontCvr_Final_web72dpiIt’s been a long while since I’ve blogged, mainly because I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of healing my 2nd bout of cancer, only to learn in the last month that it has returned. This is my 3rd bout of cancer!

Spiritually, my mind recognized that my already 3-year process of  transformation  is not yet complete, even though I thought it was.  Perhaps, I  hoped it was. I questioned, “What is it that I have still to learn”?  Yet, knowing this intellectually didn’t keep me from experiencing the full range of feelings – fear, anxiety, grief, worry, anger, etc. Read the rest of this entry »


etc_stack12__01inline__202, The Power of HabitCharles Dugigg, author of The Power of Habit gives an example of how William James, noted American philosopher and psychologist, dealt with his depression and suicidal ideation:

Today I about touched bottom, and perceive plainly that I must face the choice with open eyes. Shall I frankly throw the moral business overboard, as one unsuited to my innate aptitudes?

James was faced with committing suicide or choosing another path. Read the rest of this entry »

I just finished reading this in-depth article by Ron Kovic, a Vietnam veteran activist. If you recall, Tom Cruise acted his story in the film, “Born on the Fourth of July”, one of Tom’s best acting jobs, I might add.  Ron’s article is graphic and heart wrenching in his description of what it’s like to be wounded and abandoned by the country that caused this loss, the story that no one hears about, and sorely needs to.

I think it’s time we all knew about the day to day suffering of those who were sent to war and how they’ve all been ignored when they return with whatever they’ve sacrificed. Unconscionable!

Please read and share with others.







Read the rest of this entry »

There hasn’t been enough information shared on this topic. It is because we don’t understand that the trauma, if unhealed, gets inadvertently passed down to the next generation. And, as a mother, I am appalled when I realized what I had done, even unknowingly. Yes, children receive the indirect impact of our trauma and, in their own way, are recipients of “secondary trauma”. It impacts their being as well as their lives because they must learn defensive survival skills to live with this parent or these parents. They they carry these skills throughout life. The terrible part about this is that our suffering gets passed down to those we love the most! And, we don’t even know it. In my work as a healer and psychotherapist, I didn’t even realize it for a long time, even as I was undergoing my healing. And, through no fault of my own, it was that the field of psychology hadn’t as yet discovered the severe effects of trauma even on those directly traumatized! Let me be clear then that this is NOT what survivors do on purpose, or even that they know that they do.  I, as a trauma survivor, didn’t realize it myself until my adult children and I started living and working together 14 years ago. Read the rest of this entry »

This is the skyscraper view I see of Singapore the first night from my cousin’s living room window!


What does “turning point” actually signify? A change in one’s life? A place where one is between two paths, but is in neither? And, what does this have to do with trauma? I explore this concept because unbeknownst to me at the time, and altogether unexpectedly, Singapore becomes my “turning point”. Read the rest of this entry »

I wrote about the link between trauma and disease in my June 21, 2010 blog, using Dr. Richard Scaer’s The Trauma Spectrum as a reference. So, please refer to the blog if you want more background information.

Many of you know by now that I have experienced a whole bunch of trauma in my life, and while I have been in psychotherapy for many years as well as on a spiritual path, it is only recently with books such as the above that I’ve started to make sense of the flashbacks, nightmares, and illnesses I’ve had over the years.

As many of you know, walking a spiritual path does not give us a free ride from dealing with any of these issues.

A spiritual retreat to Bali does no less. In fact, because I have the time to do my soul work, the clearing out of unresolved issues – including physical, emotional, mental and spiritual – is occurring at lightening speed.

No sooner do I resolve ptsd with the housing situation (as I wrote about in my last two blogs), then something else happens. Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t ever think that we can get away from unresolved issues. I am learning that loud and clear in the mystical land of  Bali.  It feels like Spirit saying, “O.K., now you’ve had your fun and I’ve given you some unexpected gifts. Now, it’s time to see how much faith you’ve really developed, how much you’ve learned”!

Just when I thought that I had my life in Bali all figured out, Spirit throws a monkey wrench into the mix!

I  am living as a guest in Wayan’s home, busily planning with him to bring retreats and tours into the village, setting up qigong healings and teaching qigong exercises to the villagers.  Wayan’s and my agreement is that I  buy his mom a refrigerator, and I  stay as long as I want.  Because we are developing a business here, my initial 2-3 months is turning into more like 6, but I’m a guest here, so I figure, “No financial worries, I can stay here and we can continue to make our plans.

Naturally, Spirit had other ideas. Read the rest of this entry »

I will be flying out to Bali next Sunday for a spiritual sojourn for several months. This will be my last regular blog, since I’m not going with a computer and I have no idea about internet access where I am going. Whenever I can, I will post.

This is a time for me to get in touch again with who I am and what I’ll be doing for this next stage in my life.  I’m excited and grateful for the opportunity to do this, and I’m also scared!

Do you know just how scary it is for a trauma survivor to walk into the unknown!?!

I’ve never been to Bali before. I know only one person there, and I just met her on Thanksgiving day. A mutual friend connected us. So, I’ve been bombarding her with questions. I have no plan about what I’m going to do there. The only thing I know is that, through Rita Gelman Golden who wrote Tales of a Female Nomad, I found a friend of hers there who is also a tour guide. He will be picking me up at the airport and has found me a place for the first few nights until I decide what I want to do.  I only found out about this several days ago.

So, a week and half before I leave, I had no idea where I would be staying once I arrived. Needless to say, I am much relieved.

Also, my adult children and I have lived and working together since 1998. This will be the first time we will be apart for several months, and I won’t be home for Christmas. In addition, this is happening in conjunction with my son’s girlfriend moving in. This is the next stage in their relationship, and my son has never crossed this threshold before. So, I’ve been packing up my room so that she will have a place that she can call her own.

Whether I will actually move back in, or they move out – none of us have a clue. We’ll deal with it when I return – whenever that might be. Regardless, I sense that all our lives will be irrevocably changed with this journey. Read the rest of this entry »

Lies and cover-up by higher-ups in the government! The worst is that none of those in the higher echelon were held accountable, including Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense under President George W. Bush.

Pat Tillman was an NFL football star who turned down millions of dollars to join the military and fight for his country. When he was killed, the story that was given to his family was that he was shot by the Taliban and that he held off the enemies and, therefore, saved American lives.

Not true!

Somehow, the family found out that he was, in fact, killed by friendly fire. Not only were the family lied to,  the government took advantage of Pat’s celebrity status and made him a hero. When the family starting to look into this, they were blocked at every step. And, even when they found documents that supported the truth and it went before  Congress, everyone that had a hand in this situation was exonerated except Pat’s superior officer. He became the scapegoat.

The purpose of this blog is to look at the impact of trauma, not a political commentary on the government. Read the rest of this entry »

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